


Give Me Love

by girl_next_door_writes



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-12 07:17:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16868539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girl_next_door_writes/pseuds/girl_next_door_writes
Summary: Drunken Dean working through some feelings. (I am really bad at summaries, sorry guys.)





	1. Chapter 1

The jukebox in the corner was blasting out some old country song and a few of the beer-soaked drunks were wailing along, tears in their eyes as the lyrics brought back memories of that one girl they once loved and lost. The feeling that life would have turned out so differently had they just held onto her swept through the room and the loner sat at the end of the bar visibly stiffened before knocking back another whiskey chaser and began on the lukewarm beer in his other hand. Indicating to the barmaid for another round he ignored the sweet smile from the blonde in tight jeans who had been checking him out for the past hour and turned back to study the label on the bottle in his grip. It had been months since his last meaningless drunken hookup and although there were several potential partners in the bar this evening he knew he’d once again be waking up alone. There was something missing. He wasn’t sure why these brief encounters did nothing but make the ache inside his chest worse. No, that was a lie. He knew exactly why but he wasn’t about to let that thought linger in his mind. He certainly wasn’t about to think of her. Letting that thought in gave it potential to grow and he was having enough trouble fighting it without letting it get stronger. It just wasn’t going to happen. Girls, no, women like her, they weren’t for the likes of him. He didn’t deserve a love like her.

Downing his beer, he slammed the bottle down on the bar a little more forcefully than he had intended just as the sixth, or was it seventh, beer and whiskey appeared in front of him. Sliding payment across the bar he swirled the amber liquid thoughtfully. Maybe tonight he’d tell her, maybe. Then again he might just stay here and drink until his blood turns into alcohol. All he needs is a little time. This feeling, given enough time and alcohol, should burn out. 

An image of her from earlier that day glides effortlessly from his subconscious. Sitting opposite him at that diner, eyes bright as she had laughed and leaned across the table, hand gently wiping the smudge of burger relish on his chin. A jolt of electricity raced through his body at her touch and his eyes fell on her soft lips. All he had wanted in that moment had been to lean across and taste those lips but that was the moment Sam returned to the table, sitting next to her and playfully ruffling her hair.

It was these brief moments that his brain seemed to hoard and pull out just to torture him. Knocking back the whiskey he felt the edges of the world getting fuzzy as the heat of the liquid slid down his throat. Lately, he had been craving more of those little moments. Selfishly wanting to draw them out until they all ran into each other leaving him with just one life filled with her. 

Shaking his head trying to dislodge those thoughts he began peeling the label from his beer bottle. Maybe he should just let her go. Hell, there was no maybe about it. He would only end up hurting her either emotionally or physically, maybe even both. No. He had to let her go.

And yet… The soft lilting tones of Ed Sheeran drifted through the bar and he quickly finished his final drink, getting unsteadily to his feet. He staggered back to the motel, the memory of her laughter, her voice, the way she looks first thing in the morning when she hasn’t quite woken up yet all running through his mind. The thought of taste that her lips would allow hardening his resolve to tell her. 

He paused outside her room, the low hum of the tv playing some old sit-com mixed with peals of laughter filtered through the door. His heart beat loudly in his chest and he gripped the door frame to steady himself. Yeah, he was gonna tell her. It might be the alcohol talking but suddenly he was so sure. He wanted love. He wanted her love so badly. Knocking on the door he put on his best and brightest smile. The door swung open and his face momentarily fell and his courage disappeared. ‘Dean, you okay?’


	2. I'm A Mess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drunken Dean working through some feelings. (I am really bad at summaries, sorry guys.) Right then, let’s find out who was at that goddamned door.

Knocking on the door he put on his best and brightest smile. The door swung open and his face momentarily fell, his courage disappeared. ‘Dean, you okay?’ Sam looked his brother up and down. There was no doubt that he had been drinking. Heavily. There was something more though, he had seen Dean after hunts gone horrifically wrong, after they had lost someone, but he had never seen his brother look so defeated.

Deans mind span and for a moment he was a hot mess inside and out. His shoulders slumped and his eyes looked dull and lifeless as he tried to figure out exactly what he was seeing here. Of all the possible ways this could have gone this…this had never even occurred to him. When he had heard her laughter he had just assumed she was alone. 

‘Dean?’ the concern in her voice made his breath catch. She appeared next to Sam, leaning on the doorframe in an oversized flannel which obviously didn’t belong to her. Deans eyes traveled up her long, bare legs and for the briefest moment, he wondered if that shirt was the only thing she was wearing before he saw the hint of a pair of shorts. His eyes flitted from her to Sam as he tried to make sense of it all through his drunken haze. It seemed obvious to him now though, of course, she would choose Sam. All the times he had run away from her, pushed her away, he had pushed her to his brother. Sam was always there for her, ready to listen and probably bitch about what a pain in the ass he was. 

Running a hand over his face Dean let out a sigh, wanting to walk away but his entire body just felt so heavy he could barely move. Closing his eyes and frowning he muttered an apology and forced his limbs to move, to let him walk away. Sam went to set off after him but was stopped by a gentle hand on his arm. ‘Let me go.’ She smiled up at the youngest Winchester who simply nodded and ruffled her hair affectionately. 

Quickly she jogged down the walkway eager to catch up with Dean who was staggering along muttering to himself. ‘Stupid, stupid, stupid Dean. What did you expect? That she would just feel the same way? Idiot.’

‘You’re not an idiot.’ She said softly and he turned rather too quickly in surprise causing him to lose his balance and land heavily on his ass. ‘How much have you had to drink?’ she giggled sitting down on the concrete next to him. They sat in silence for what felt like an eternity, him avoiding eye contact. ‘Come on Winchester, time to talk. Whatever it is you need to tell me because I hate to see you like this Dean.’

‘I can’t’ he mumbled looking so downcast. How could he possibly tell her that she was the reason he was so unhappy?

‘Hey.’ Cupping his face, she forced him to look at her. God, he could fall into those eyes of hers and those lips, mmm. ‘Talk to me, Dean. Please.’

‘It’s you alright. I…I’ve known for the longest time and I tried to ignore it but then you’d do that nose crinkle thing or laugh at something or look at me like…like that, just like you’re looking at me now. Damn it, just stop.’

‘Which bit? The laughing or looking at you or…’ a smirk danced across her lips and she tried to make sense of his slightly drunken ramblings.

‘You know damn well what I mean.’ he huffed in defiance, his eyes burning bright. ‘I know I’ve messed up okay. I’m messing up right now because I should just keep my mouth shut but you are driving me crazy and I try… Oh man, I have tried so damned hard to quit you. I’ve said some unforgivable things to you and it has killed me to know that I have caused you pain. All the lies, the times I told you I didn’t care about you when I have loved you for so long because begin near you just feels like coming home. I just can’t feel like this anymore and I know you’re with Sam but…’

‘Woah there.’ Her eyebrows shot up in a look of genuine surprise. ‘I’m not with Sam, why would you think I’m with Sam?’ her voice was now several octaves higher and he found himself laughing at her facial expression even through his confusion.

‘Well, I mean, you’re wearing his shirt and…’

‘Winchester you are an idiot.’ She cut in shaking her head. Smiling sweetly up at him she took his hand, intertwining their fingers as she leaned into him pausing for a second, their faces just inches apart. His eyes searched hers, making sure that he wasn’t misreading this. Finding no trace of doubt there, he closed the gap between them, softly pressing his lips to hers taking in every sensation as he finally gave into everything he had been feeling for so long. Both breathless as they pulled apart he rested his forehead against her and smiled.

‘So you’re not with my brother then?’

‘No. I am not with Sam.’ She giggled ‘And this is one of your old shirts. And…I love you too.’ Threading his fingers through her hair he pulled her closer, into another heartfelt kiss.


End file.
